Fear of Falling

After a couple of days believing I had sprained my foot and not being able to put weight on it, I went to urgent care. I have a foot fracture and I left on crutches. I’ll be on them for 4-6 weeks. I’ve never been on crutches before and it is one of the hardest things I’ve had to endure. I have to think about everything I do. I have stairs, so I crawl or scoot up and down, dragging whatever needs to go up or down with me, including my crutches. I feel the most freedom downstairs because in the “It’s not too weird if it works” category, I use an office chair on wheels to get around on all the tile. I can kneel on the chair to get things in the cupboards and wash dishes, etc.

A few days of self-pity on the couch cured me of wanting to be taken care of. I value what I can do on my own. I do get tired in the afternoon so I put my foot up and take a nap. I’m determined to take good care of myself.

My podiatrist told me I have a “Jones Fracture,” the most well-known fracture that does not heal without surgery. I saw him on Monday and when he asked me what day I was injured (Wednesday) he was very surprised. He showed me the x-rays he had taken and they showed calcium growths over the injured area. He explained that it looked to be about 3 weeks’ worth of healing that had gone on! I believe in God, and Bill and I had prayed for quick healing. I will go back to the doctor in less than 2 weeks to see how my foot is doing. I have a splint with ace bandages around it . I have to keep from putting weight on it. I have a fear that it will happen accidentally and that I’ll have to have surgery and add more weeks of crutches. All I can do is have faith that everything will work out no matter what.

When I leave the house I have to use my crutches everywhere. Fortunately, it was my left foot that was injured so I can drive. I still have a fear of falling. I feel so vulnerable being on crutches out in the world. Going up curbs is the worst. I always pause. What if I biff it and do a face plant? But even worse, what if I put weight on my injured foot?

We all live with fear. We have no control over most things. Why do we think we do? I have been amazed at all the people who suddenly appear to open a door for me and ask if I need help. I have learned to say yes, thank you!

Instead of thinking, ”Why me?” when things happen, we need to think, “What now?” and use all our resources to get through. There are a lot of experienced people out there waiting to help. You know this. You’ve been that person for someone else. Now it’s your turn!